How far would you go for friendship? Would a kindly handshake suffice? How about a hundered dollars? Some dismembered body parts suit your fancy? I don't know about you, but I'd do anything to make a friend.
I'd scale the the tallest mountains and swim the longest river. I'd fight an army of zombies and then (shivers) watch an episode of Rosie O'donnell's talk show.
I'd even threaten someone. Which is what I'm going to do now. You see, below this paragraph, I have a picture of a door. I assure you 'friend', you do not want to see what's on the other side.
Don't make me open the door. Be my friend.
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